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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18111) - you deserved it (2541)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (2257)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27608) - you deserved it (2944)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

#19886505
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (8482)

On 07/03/2012 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8079) - you deserved it (40390)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (5347)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2575)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML

#19815411
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (2058)

On 06/19/2012 at 10:15pm - animals - by jnr1234 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (43018)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (42475)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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