Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2174)
On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (1746)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (2626)
On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you deserved it (22990)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (2991)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (7056)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (1264)
On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (2072)
On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (5126)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (3702)
On 08/13/2011 at 7:45am - love - by Username - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (882)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (11433)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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