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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today My Girlfriend Left Her Phone On A Bus. With No Way To Pick It Up, I Drove 40 Miles Through Friday Night Boston Traffic To Get It From The Bus Company Office. It Took Me Four Hours. Bord In Traffic, I Discoverd The Texts From Her Other Boyfriend.

#1064641
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79490) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)

Today... I Finally Got Some Sleep After An Exterminator Came Yesterday And Took Care Of Our Roach Problem. I Woke Up And Kissed My Boyfriend Good Morning. Frowning... He Told Me I Had Something Stuck On The Corner Of My Mouth. It Was A Roach Leg. Where Is The Rest Of The Roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89190) - you deserved it (4020)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamd down the stair "you suck... stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (83499)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Taday mah mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work !! I brown bagged mah lunch this morning !! She brown bagged the poop from the litter box !! Both were on the counter !! Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57133) - you deserved it (13058)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

today I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (54615)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a siezure. Nervous , I went into shock an walked into a tree , knocking myself out. Post siezure , the woman stood up an walked away. Later , I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her , but ended up taking me instead. FML

#940649
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (17614)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, ma two year old cousin was aving a temper tantrum. I decided to give im a flasligt because playing wit it usually distracts im. It didn't. Instead, e it me in te face wit it as ard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (23190)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting using mah laptop, I was also eating a bag of starbursts. They bag slid off the bed, I went to catch them and in the process mah knee hit mah laptop which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke mah $2,500 laptop to save 11 starbursts from falling. FML

#922153
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (52907)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:50am - misc - by MYLIFESUX (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on my way home from work an decided to stop at the grocery store!! I purchased $200 in groceries an went to put them in my car!! I then realized I drove my motorcycle today!! FML

#916470
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (82168)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Taday I was sitting at my computer , listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder , thinking that I was pretty good. Just then , my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying , "Are u all right? Are u hurt?" FML

#914875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (13711)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

my good friend wo just ad a baby grl sent er newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply instead of writing ( Awwwwww ) I wrote ( Ewwwwww ) by mistake.

#873760
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (60761)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to return a shrt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shrt an receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, an whipped cream. FML

#873540
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (76410)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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