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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70235) - you deserved it (3496)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72286) - you deserved it (5363)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73746) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, our school went to an elementary school to read to the kids. One of the girls in my group asked me if she could switch into another group, so I asked her what was wrong with mine. She said, "Nothing, I wanna be in her group. She's prettier." I was insulted by a kindergartner. FML

#263289
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/10/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by thanksjill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

#260978
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (2621)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (62983)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

#244881
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58716) - you deserved it (12619)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54887) - you deserved it (8754)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

#232314
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (64789)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:35am - intimacy - by You Wish (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71027) - you deserved it (6894)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (3149)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

#209594
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (42424)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by girlie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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