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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62598) - you deserved it (8806)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

#1309415
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52759) - you deserved it (2188)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

#1306375
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50754) - you deserved it (2912)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

#1259995
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (70340)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66339) - you deserved it (6909)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

#1064641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79185) - you deserved it (4392)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88807) - you deserved it (4009)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (80715)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56938) - you deserved it (13015)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (53086)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

#940649
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (17571)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (23146)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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