Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93) - you deserved it (7808)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (75025)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (6829)
On 02/26/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by MadameM (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90904) - you deserved it (3842)
On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I sent out a note to 300 friends saying that I'm having a birthday party in a couple weeks. I asked to please write back if they are interested in going . . . two people answered...They said they can't make it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (3363)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by mylifeisfcked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (36433)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58999) - you deserved it (3573)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73653) - you deserved it (4393)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37502) - you deserved it (9393)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by goddamitme (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (12268)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81790) - you deserved it (3319)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50315) - you deserved it (2326)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43099) - you deserved it (4176)
On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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