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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (5528)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59953) - you deserved it (12035)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43803) - you deserved it (14362)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML

#4546368
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (54720)

On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the dry cleaner next to my house went up in flames. I went outside to look at the fire, as I looked on in amazement I realized I had dropped off all of my work clothes at the cleaners two days before. I was supposed to pick them up today but was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the store. FML

#4449065
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12393) - you deserved it (63375)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

#4431065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

#4429167
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41165) - you deserved it (12514)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by kmf - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (50980)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

#4362342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (2649)

On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned a valuable lesson, never leave your "Let It Be" album, which you paid $489 for on Ebay out on your desk. My brother also learned something, old records make for very breakable, one use frisbees. FML

#4293137
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (10951)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:37pm - money - by DiskJockey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

#4251731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (2108)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by Jaybird1587 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

#4239314
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (6032)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62642) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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