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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (5020)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

#2459641
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (9532)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by yikes78 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50571) - you deserved it (7552)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

#2429175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42149) - you deserved it (12129)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by peopleinthepark (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53398) - you deserved it (7965)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

#2273828
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41123) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by OrlandoZ6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML

#2203272
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (78323)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by beavis - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

#2105254
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (22257)

On 05/20/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

#1961143
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (7036)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

#1953704
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (48397)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by sweet92 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you deserved it (122510)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no response I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML

#1858879
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50038) - you deserved it (15442)

On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

#1828109
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72910) - you deserved it (4813)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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