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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

#3517993
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (10531)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - money - by icecreamer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12398) - you deserved it (48002)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

#3334835
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (5142)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by wowzersthatsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was my first day back at work since my wife got breast cancer. I come in and see some people with pink slips and frowns. When I get to my desk I find a pink slip, I go up to my boss and start to curse him out for firing me. Only to find out my pink slip was a fundraiser for my wife. FML

#3198291
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10090) - you deserved it (52514)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:20am - misc - by YahItsMe94 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (53212)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50627) - you deserved it (14283)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (53507)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77532) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was working in the liquor store, I was trying to impress my hot boss by lifting three cases of Grey goose. Turns out I can't, and I'll be working for the next two months of the rest of my summer paying it all back. FML

#2900740
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (53765)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:13am - work - by damgoose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

#2888954
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (11596)

On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41584) - you deserved it (5876)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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