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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11849) - you deserved it (71039)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents denied me saying that it would cost too much money. I come home today to see my parents had bought a huge plasma screen TV for $800. We already have 3 tv's. FML

#5106041
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (3806)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm - money - by AH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (2114)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (34271)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43716) - you deserved it (6505)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (7636)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML

#4756593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (42381)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

#4708502
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35821) - you deserved it (2230)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56841) - you deserved it (11358)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43489) - you deserved it (14289)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML

#4546368
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11775) - you deserved it (52028)

On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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