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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (7236)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

#5450492
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42993) - you deserved it (3874)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57148) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (8547)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

#5319261
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (4442)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

#5288568
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40214) - you deserved it (4478)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - misc - by fobfan14 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

#5279131
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40771) - you deserved it (1864)

On 09/15/2009 at 7:39pm - work - by bonedregardless (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51885) - you deserved it (4744)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (67421)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents denied me saying that it would cost too much money. I come home today to see my parents had bought a huge plasma screen TV for $800. We already have 3 tv's. FML

#5106041
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm - money - by AH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (1884)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16342) - you deserved it (33273)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40702) - you deserved it (6205)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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