Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

#6336608
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15043) - you deserved it (23631)

On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (41235)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

#6267863
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

#6254923
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (3340)

On 11/11/2009 at 6:28am - animals - by dEpPrEsSeDgIrL (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

#6230724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38167) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm - work - by Failure (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

#6221127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (2423)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML

#6209911
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6366) - you deserved it (44918)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Cakeman (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML

#6180723
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by kernelkat (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

#6166479
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (79499)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38838) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (35807)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: