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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (4026)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML

#13733165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30685) - you deserved it (4462)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:04am - health - by jamiedevin (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (3319)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

#13657606
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (6670)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:25am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (9270)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (4908)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

#13570678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16660) - you deserved it (37858)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (28167)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

#13498191
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35902) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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