Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (280)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (15028)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (3823)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by mnavy (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (3383)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9008) - you deserved it (31755)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (5892)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38803) - you deserved it (3085)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (2562)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (7170)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (3571)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (3651)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - misc - by fobfan14 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35989) - you deserved it (1381)
On 09/15/2009 at 7:39pm - work - by bonedregardless (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47139) - you deserved it (3891)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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