Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (2062)
On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4585) - you deserved it (33423)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Cakeman (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (1571)
On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by kernelkat (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (1567)
On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (61637)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (2889)
On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6604) - you deserved it (30921)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8166) - you deserved it (27555)
On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (1371)
On 10/17/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19122) - you deserved it (3132)
On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I finally had time to talk with my boyfriend. We had a nice long conversation, which included him telling me how much I meant to him and that we really need to see each other more often. He concluded the speech twenty minutes later with "Which is why I really hope we can stay friends". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (2004)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:53am - love - by Oh_Well (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30031) - you deserved it (2541)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39801) - you deserved it (8251)
On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
