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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (15539)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (3034)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

#17130002
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (2791)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by jordy1995 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned why my boyfriend of 10 months and I never hang out at his place. He still lives at home with his mother. He's 38. FML

#17116757
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (5354)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:51am - love - by brsoxgirl - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36518) - you deserved it (2822)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (3132)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

#16922820
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10855) - you deserved it (30415)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (37121)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

#16858982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39774) - you deserved it (4289)

On 06/26/2011 at 12:29am - love - by smoothmove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (7651)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

#16842946
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (4942)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:31am - love - by yearbook369 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

#16589180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (4640)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:59am - love - by ouchmyeye (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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