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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, after weeks of money slowly disappearing from the stash in my bedroom, I confronted my son about it. I'm not sure which is worse: that my son is a thief or that he actually blamed his father for it. We've been divorced and haven't spoken for eight years. FML

#16091812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/08/2011 at 2:25pm - kids - by jill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (11916)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (6161)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (29301)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (6504)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (9426)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40347) - you deserved it (9846)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32966) - you deserved it (9507)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (3041)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML

#14994947
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm - misc - by K (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML

#14762941
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (4714)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by fudgydiaper22 (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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