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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, my school year book awarded "cutest couple" to my boyfriend and I. We broke up yesterday. FML

#16842946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (4931)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:31am - love - by yearbook369 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

#16589180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34240) - you deserved it (4632)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:59am - love - by ouchmyeye (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (3124)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

#16376796
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (3963)

On 05/27/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

#16271295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (3256)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by ewwgross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (12594)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after weeks of money slowly disappearing from the stash in my bedroom, I confronted my son about it. I'm not sure which is worse: that my son is a thief or that he actually blamed his father for it. We've been divorced and haven't spoken for eight years. FML

#16091812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (3968)

On 05/08/2011 at 2:25pm - kids - by jill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (11909)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (6157)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

#15621344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (29281)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)



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