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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I brought back the puppy I adopted for my family. I spent months doing all the research on puppy care with two young children, and at least five hundred dollars for the dog, the supplies, toys... the whole bit. Turns out everyone's allergic to her. FML

#1386649
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46930) - you deserved it (7744)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:52am - animals - by achoo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58727) - you deserved it (4177)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51224) - you deserved it (23982)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46553) - you deserved it (21525)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (12305)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (152114)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58501) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (109182)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

#402004
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (50966)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by not_so_sweet_sixteen - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54936) - you deserved it (11708)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

#153309
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (5343)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (4944)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14980) - you deserved it (3845)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)



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