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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

#3163713
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (11500)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Nutty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (4670)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124376) - you deserved it (6054)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML

#2077827
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66138) - you deserved it (4218)

On 05/19/2009 at 11:50am - misc - by Margaret (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought back the puppy I adopted for my family. I spent months doing all the research on puppy care with two young children, and at least five hundred dollars for the dog, the supplies, toys... the whole bit. Turns out everyone's allergic to her. FML

#1386649
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47101) - you deserved it (7761)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:52am - animals - by achoo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58970) - you deserved it (4188)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54030) - you deserved it (25334)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46748) - you deserved it (21580)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (12869)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (155729)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58741) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (113912)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)



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