Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (9526)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13319) - you deserved it (109327)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (2815)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12425) - you deserved it (83097)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

#402004
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32360) - you deserved it (40470)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by not_so_sweet_sixteen - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (9465)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

#153309
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (4436)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: