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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (4315)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62859) - you deserved it (6854)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

#4077228
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9939) - you deserved it (67089)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52171) - you deserved it (14232)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

#3786711
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39304) - you deserved it (5517)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

#3689425
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (4475)

On 07/12/2009 at 9:29am - love - by vividrabbit (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

#3163713
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (10984)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Nutty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (4555)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116916) - you deserved it (5506)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML

#2077827
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63684) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/19/2009 at 11:50am - misc - by Margaret (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought back the puppy I adopted for my family. I spent months doing all the research on puppy care with two young children, and at least five hundred dollars for the dog, the supplies, toys... the whole bit. Turns out everyone's allergic to her. FML

#1386649
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46899) - you deserved it (7742)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:52am - animals - by achoo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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