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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

#7576181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (25585)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm - misc - by EggyBum (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4468) - you deserved it (34052)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

#7299222
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (11250)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (3353)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML

#6780153
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

#6260496
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (10136)

On 11/11/2009 at 5:10pm - love - by kiwi (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5786) - you deserved it (27301)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (2107)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (4433)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (10003)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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