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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36883) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML

#6780153
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2444)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

#6260496
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (10113)

On 11/11/2009 at 5:10pm - love - by kiwi (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5747) - you deserved it (27164)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (1986)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2767)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (9923)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (4307)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62699) - you deserved it (6846)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

#4077228
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (67006)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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