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FMLs submitted from New Hampshire

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (1485)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (1688)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (1792)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (1370)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

#19334531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5560) - you deserved it (26527)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14542) - you deserved it (1219)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (4190)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML

#17977413
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (11661)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34692) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)



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