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FMLs submitted from New Brunswick

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35029) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

#17586338
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

#16734603
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36923) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (8280)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45931) - you deserved it (3493)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

#12731475
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (8740)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

#12621906
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14027) - you deserved it (25004)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (36546)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

#5745365
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38528) - you deserved it (2811)

On 10/09/2009 at 7:22pm - money - by poorman (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81750) - you deserved it (5568)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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