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FMLs submitted from New Brunswick

Today, My Boyfriend Invited Me Over To ( Play With His Lizard . ) After Excitedly Rushing Across Town, I Realized This Wasn't A Euphemism, He Actually Bought An Iguana . FML

#20068225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11332) - you deserved it (24202)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today , ma dad sat me down 4 te sex looool talk. Almost before e could open is mout , ma moter popped er ead into te room an said , "Be realistic , Dan. Wo would want to sleep wit tat?" mega FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad . We tradd seats, I startd the car and his entire lesson was, ( Go . ) mega FML

#18475909
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, during friend's group's science project presentation, te teacer yelled at me, ( Stop making stupid faces at te presenters! ) I was smiling. mega FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (3546)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I Woke Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Sick . I Went To The Bathroom An Knelt In Front Of The Toilet, Waiting To Throw Up . When I Finally Did, I Violently Shit My Pants At The Same Time . I Was At My Friend's House . FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

today I got into a aatad argumant wit ma mom cuz apparantly I'm an idiot fir not saring ar baliaf tat cickan r mammals. Sa as a univarsity dagraa in tis stuff. FML

#17586338
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my old neighbor peltd me with apples when I walkd out the door. I duckd fir cover and askd what her problem was. She yelld, ( You took fresh peas from my garden! ) I lookd at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (2904)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them . When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it . FML

#16734603
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39246) - you deserved it (8406)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological fater wo I ave never met in my life. As I was scrolling troug is obbies and interests I saw "Drinking " "Black women wit big asses " and "Getting laid lol."

#16344639
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (3511)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until mah dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close mah mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me fir two hours, leaving me to walk around town with mah mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, wile grabbing a usk of corn out of te boiling ot pot, I splased ot water on ma neck, dropped te corn on ma injured toe, and cut myself on te counters, all wile ma family lauged at ma pain. FML

#12731475
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (8864)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today I Finally Found Mah Cellphone When I Heard WHACKWHACKWHACK Inside The Washing Machine. FML

#12621906
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14437) - you deserved it (25598)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)



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