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FMLs submitted from New Brunswick

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (20105)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (6064)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13119) - you deserved it (26484)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

#17586338
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (3382)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

#16734603
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (8620)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (3764)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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