Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (4281)
On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6869) - you deserved it (14571)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (3088)
On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (3077)
On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2035)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you deserved it (2452)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (2482)
On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (6580)
On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (2672)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (6637)
On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Monday 20 May 2013
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