Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New Brunswick

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (7325)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (5422)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (2837)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (18488)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30114) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10062) - you deserved it (22427)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (1790)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3133)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: