FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

by robbyrabbit / 11/11/2010 at 2:41am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:17am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

by kggggg / 08/12/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

by superhero1043 / 05/14/2010 at 1:01am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous