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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (19560)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65963) - you deserved it (4251)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

#7467882
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (6059)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:41am - kids - by ilovemom (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

#7380973
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (4580)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (38252)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (8612)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47100) - you deserved it (3329)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to meet a potential client at StarBucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other StarBucks. FML

#6185222
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (5869)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:14pm - work - by CoffeeBoy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. So we were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say "I Love You". So I told him to "say it already". Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

#6183343
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32446) - you deserved it (5136)

On 11/06/2009 at 3:36pm - love - by Her (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

#6113652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26528) - you deserved it (3495)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML

#5992149
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (4299)

On 10/25/2009 at 3:19pm - love - by rollercoaster (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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