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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

#17977138
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (4344)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (30131)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (4911)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

#17253506
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (3544)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by montextes - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (14687)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (7194)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41588) - you deserved it (13668)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (5435)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (9571)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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