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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

#17253506
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (3544)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by montextes - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (14681)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (7188)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (13660)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (5431)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40393) - you deserved it (9565)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (3588)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

#13798329
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20708) - you deserved it (4016)

On 11/11/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by robbyrabbit (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56144) - you deserved it (12099)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (5715)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

#13153251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (3844)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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