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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

#17253506
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by montextes - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (11686)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (6704)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (12385)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (5202)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (7695)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

#14087670
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39855) - you deserved it (3330)

On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

#13798329
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/11/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by robbyrabbit (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (5555)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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