Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

#20076090
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (1404)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (24409)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

#20046256
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1502)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:50pm - money - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (2369)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

#20013194
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (27780)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:42am - animals - by Bobby - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (2714)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (12259)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (9322)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16801) - you deserved it (4006)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

#19476340
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (1609)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (1954)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML

#18924162
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (2533)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: