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FMLs submitted from Nevada

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68096) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47679) - you deserved it (2563)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47517) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (5072)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (8459)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (3140)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (31343)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39404) - you deserved it (8255)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (6250)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)



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