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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239561) - you deserved it (14814)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18613) - you deserved it (6435)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (8043)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

#2137
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (2023)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)



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