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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

#598637
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64405) - you deserved it (27140)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by fmlsrsly (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241183) - you deserved it (14848)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (6442)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (8054)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

#2137
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40184) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)



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