Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (5286)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (29084)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

#5385997
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (1918)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by THATguy (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (52316)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

#5189179
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (18106)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm - work - by jeph23 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (2121)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57581) - you deserved it (3610)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75281) - you deserved it (4233)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

#3109891
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (8812)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

#2630273
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50240) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: