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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (1927)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

#5794322
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (5286)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (29087)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

#5385997
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (1918)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by THATguy (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (52316)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

#5189179
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (18106)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm - work - by jeph23 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41546) - you deserved it (2121)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57583) - you deserved it (3610)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75283) - you deserved it (4233)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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