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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (4402)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (10640)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (6848)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (2776)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12338) - you deserved it (57232)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (11525)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34165) - you deserved it (14416)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55645) - you deserved it (4268)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (5339)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

#14204770
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (9637)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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