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FMLs submitted from Nebraska

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10268) - you deserved it (52107)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (11025)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (13555)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52826) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (4119)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (4966)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

#14204770
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2024)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (7437)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (2151)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (2069)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

#13688887
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (4738)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm - love - by secret - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

#13464373
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

#13346165
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7336) - you deserved it (29563)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)



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