Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (12112)
On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)
Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (1621)
On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)
Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9371) - you deserved it (23212)
On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (36054)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (3526)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (5103)
On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (2298)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (1870)
On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (2776)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (5360)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (2677)
On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (1163)
On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)
Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (35911)
On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
