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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (13335)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (41221)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (9718)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

#15792275
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (6095)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (3354)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

#15319129
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (4387)

On 03/15/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Kimberlie (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (67233)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (5925)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (3312)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (38442)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (8636)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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