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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (17979)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

#16932993
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42943) - you deserved it (4106)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:49am - intimacy - by ljcxo17 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (2723)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (4501)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

#16636156
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (6154)

On 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm - love - by ash - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

#16575408
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (5820)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2459)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (13351)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (41272)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (9829)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

#15792275
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33341) - you deserved it (6100)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (3359)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

#15319129
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42362) - you deserved it (4390)

On 03/15/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Kimberlie (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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