Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (2633)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (24987)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (5348)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28152) - you deserved it (17943)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

#16932993
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42350) - you deserved it (4056)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:49am - intimacy - by ljcxo17 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

#16636156
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (6146)

On 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm - love - by ash - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

#16575408
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (5734)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (2457)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (13331)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (41208)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (9714)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: