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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML

#17592459
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (5964)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (4544)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (2884)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (17048)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42644) - you deserved it (3335)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (2637)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (25018)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (5354)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (17972)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

#16932993
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (4102)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:49am - intimacy - by ljcxo17 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (4496)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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