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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (3257)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32755) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3885)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (26435)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (91643)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (8082)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (4976)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (4460)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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