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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

#5703521
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42192) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/07/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

#5633791
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33761) - you deserved it (5546)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by wetandpantsless (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

#5580319
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (37404)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

#5579977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (4083)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

#5466637
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35855) - you deserved it (16048)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML

#5421005
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (6048)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (5267)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12427) - you deserved it (50941)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

#5252431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (2606)

On 09/14/2009 at 3:28pm - love - by thisistypical (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60269) - you deserved it (8906)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you deserved it (4780)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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