Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

#61582
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (4013)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by tigerfiend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (8049)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (4256)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

#30969
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (1334)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

#9051
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47436) - you deserved it (6933)

On 02/05/2009 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Barrel - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

#2983
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (895)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:13am - work - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (1733)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by