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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (17062)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

#5703521
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39391) - you deserved it (3424)

On 10/07/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

#5633791
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (5518)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by wetandpantsless (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

#5580319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (35603)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

#5579977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

#5466637
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (15991)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML

#5421005
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (5675)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (4978)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML

#5313316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (50698)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

#5252431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (2589)

On 09/14/2009 at 3:28pm - love - by thisistypical (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59178) - you deserved it (8781)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)



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