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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (5191)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I realizd that the only reason mah boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at mah house 4 the past two months is because mah little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to there mario kart dates. FML

#7699388
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/30/2010 at 4:40am - misc - by wowsucks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6298) - you deserved it (27023)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Yesterday, I was getting a pedicure, and they usd some sort of scrubby thing that really tickld feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kickd the lady who was doing nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (20552)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking looool can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today , I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend , who plays guitar and sings very well , has dark hair , and wears grl pants. After telling her these things , she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says , "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" real FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (38648)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in 4 a drink!! I discovered tat wen it's cold, sometimes te gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto te sidewalk!! I ad to pay 4 $53 of spilled gas!! FML

Today, I was sent to the hospital fir bieng knockd out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, My Girlfriend Asked For Me To Come To Her. Then Move My Head In Close To Her And Close My Eyes. Expecting A Sweet And Romantic Kiss I Positioned My Lips For My Surprise. My Surprise Wasn't A Kiss, Instead It Was A Nice Crunchy Booger She Placed In My Mouth With Her Finger. FML

Today, mah ex looked at me 4 the first time in looool months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later mah flight ended. I fell down the stairs. fat FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21089) - you deserved it (11438)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up at a strangers ouse after a long nigt of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some moutwas so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Tinking of te nigt before, I instinctively downed te Listerine like a sot and puked everywere. FML

#7036487
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5718) - you deserved it (41602)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by jagerbombs (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, mah brother an I got in a fight an he told mah friends that I am mentally disabld. They believd him. Apparently, ( everything makes sense now. ) FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

I pratandd to smoka a braad stick that lookd lika a cigar . It mada ma faal cool looool . FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (37435)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)



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