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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (7762)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (5178)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

#7699388
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/30/2010 at 4:40am - misc - by wowsucks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26104)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (20449)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8516) - you deserved it (38512)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (11299)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up at a strangers house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

#7036487
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (39977)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by jagerbombs (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (3338)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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