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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (9855)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

#15792275
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (6203)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (3364)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

#15319129
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (4514)

On 03/15/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Kimberlie (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12658) - you deserved it (67504)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3363)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (5941)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3321)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (38666)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (8741)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8382) - you deserved it (62267)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (7112)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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