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FMLs submitted from Missouri

Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML

#21446622
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (1703)

On 07/24/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by jb100 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

#21442079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (2280)

On 07/15/2015 at 2:06pm - misc - by lesousterre - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (1761)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (2046)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (12276)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (4977)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (2028)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (1814)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (1599)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (1843)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (779) - you deserved it (3426)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)



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