Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Mississippi

2day I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm usd to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmd, he screamd, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My nieghbors heard in the apartment next door and calld to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49820) - you deserved it (6449)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today..!! I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke!! My face turned red an tears began welling up in mah eyes!! Two of mah coworkers were there!! They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping!! FML

#4095368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (2210)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:11am - health - by swaiteATC (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get mah girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed mah head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in mah head. FML

#2907307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42936) - you deserved it (2743)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I Was At A Party. Te Music Canged To A Slow Dance. Everybody Grabbed A Partner And I Was Left On Te Dancefloor Alone. Suddenly, Tis Guy Walks Up To Me. I Swore Tat E Was Going To Ask Me To Dance. He Ten Says: ( Could You Old Me Ma Drink? ) And Goes To Dance Wit Anoter Grl. FML

#2704619
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (3462)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today... I was getting off of work... talking to mah boss and I askd if I could get a ride home... since mah usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said... sure... but to be really careful since he just had his car detaild. I was getting in the car... trippd and threw mah hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (19105)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

my mother calld me a bad son 4 not telling her "Happy Mother's Day"!! When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th..!! she said that I would have forgotten anyway!! real FML

#1749073
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (2666)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed mah tan away. FML

#1246949
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (83888)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk so he had trouble getting it up and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in yur sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (81910)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today I was sitting in a rastaurant with my bast friand . Wa had just compatad in a pagaant togathar aarliar this month . A lady comas up to my friand who got first altarnata and said "You wara robbad of that titla . You dasarvad to win . I hatad tha winnar." I was tha winnar . FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49076) - you deserved it (5105)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight huh?". FML

#41916
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (5479)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today... when mah husband got home from work... I was standing in the kitchen... wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55357) - you deserved it (5905)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: