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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

#4095368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (2206)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:11am - health - by swaiteATC (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

#2907307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42830) - you deserved it (2740)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49403) - you deserved it (3459)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (19072)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50297) - you deserved it (2662)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (83854)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (80087)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48999) - you deserved it (5101)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33245) - you deserved it (5248)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55279) - you deserved it (5899)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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