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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (2259)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (2943)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (3592)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (5081)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

#17249619
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30045) - you deserved it (12504)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:05am - love - by googlefreak54321 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13444) - you deserved it (71343)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (78136)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

#16746621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (9875)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by no one - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (11358)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (13094)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49653) - you deserved it (25980)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49680) - you deserved it (4154)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40507) - you deserved it (4127)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)



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