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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (1518)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (41970)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (2382)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (3875)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (5094)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

#17249619
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (12749)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:05am - love - by googlefreak54321 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13503) - you deserved it (71531)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (82452)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

#16746621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (10291)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by no one - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (11397)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (13136)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51752) - you deserved it (27005)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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