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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (8958)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (11435)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (5130)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (5975)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19235) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (40734)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (3576)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42285) - you deserved it (5063)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

#17249619
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (12028)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:05am - love - by googlefreak54321 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12586) - you deserved it (68937)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you deserved it (77681)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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