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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (5705)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (1215)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (39131)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (2073)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (3379)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

#17249619
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (11720)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:05am - love - by googlefreak54321 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop tickling me, since I absolutely hate being tickled. He got extremely pissed at me and left the room. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I'd called him by my ex's name. FML

#17184494
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11495) - you deserved it (65655)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:07am - love - by sarahbeth93 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (75407)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

#16746621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (9667)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by no one - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (10956)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)



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