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FMLs submitted from Mississippi

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (4475)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (14892)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML

#21275769
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (7825)

On 10/11/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by ojskyguy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18543) - you deserved it (31132)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (4354)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (7213)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (4370)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

#21046497
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (5647)

On 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by IceQueen - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

#20979319
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (3739)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm - health - by wheezy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (12822)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43674) - you deserved it (8834)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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