Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (5688)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6956) - you deserved it (38564)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked how long he'd have to wait until he could ask out my best friend. We broke up yesterday. FML

#13237339
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/28/2010 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

#12992110
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (20394)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by coolcucumber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (12979)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because "I need to watch my weight." FML

#12716551
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33830) - you deserved it (5686)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by jace17 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (5212)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (6226)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

#12165853
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (6676)

On 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm - money - by RWW (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (4898)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (2903)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: