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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (3273)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

#16985861
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (4554)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by IAmACoolCat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (3521)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (7585)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13469) - you deserved it (59765)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (5145)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (15587)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2941)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (18685)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30966) - you deserved it (6016)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12471) - you deserved it (38792)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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