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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (5863)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (37296)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45951) - you deserved it (8727)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

#14768541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (9831)

On 01/30/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by effingdoucher (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

#14669350
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (9274)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Peter C. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (7639)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (31889)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

#14250583
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (4300)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML

#13967248
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (5374)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (3034)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

#13945112
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11404) - you deserved it (22646)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:25am - love - by ohsosad (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

#13923340
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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