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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (2796)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

#18023382
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (10058)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (5661)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (2459)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29535) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

#16985861
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (4543)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by IAmACoolCat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (3513)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (7569)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (57940)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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