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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (3400)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

#18377899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (20520)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm - work - by fuuuuck (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

#18187794
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5595) - you deserved it (48677)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by farhia97 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

#18111338
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (2760)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30929) - you deserved it (4926)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (2793)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

#18023382
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (10044)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (5547)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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