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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (1675)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (8416)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (2473)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

#20046142
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (2152)

On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (6276)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (15023)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (1920)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (44977)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

#19835247
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8984) - you deserved it (27225)

On 06/23/2012 at 6:21pm - work - by XoXonedirectionXoXo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

#19805072
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2072)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)



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