Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (5222)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (4172)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33465) - you deserved it (2836)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (5743)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (1820)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28270) - you deserved it (5368)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (3148)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (1678)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (8424)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (2477)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

#20046142
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (2159)

On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (6289)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: