FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

by RWW / 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

by misTreated / 05/30/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

by please_no / 03/16/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

by secret / 03/11/2010 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

by sdauner / 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

by geeb / 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

by quasimodo / 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

by HellaBomber91 / 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

by city_girl / 02/04/2010 at 1:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 10:27am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

by HotelClerk / 01/22/2010 at 1:37am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation