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FMLs submitted from Minnesota

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married". FML

#3447565
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54118) - you deserved it (4409)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:24am - love - by hannaholic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71325) - you deserved it (12505)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

#3228837
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39718) - you deserved it (3226)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

#2958799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (2674)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lojo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (21788)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

#2461249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (3448)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41398) - you deserved it (2421)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

#2019418
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60782) - you deserved it (8812)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40730) - you deserved it (2312)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (76271)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98741) - you deserved it (22681)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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